No holds bard

Shakespeare's great, isn't he? I mean, there he was, taking the mickey out of My luve's like a red, red, rose a century and a half before it was written, in a sonnet that begins:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red, than her lips red...
and ends:
And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.

Shakespeare-quoters are terrible bores, of course, present company not excepted, but there's no doubt that he does have a line for every occasion. What better way of ending your retirement speech, for example, than:
Forever, and forever, farewell, [fellow Board members]
If we do meet again, why, we will smile;
If not, why then this parting was well made.

And if your boss has a literary bent he could reply:
Forever, and forever, farewell, [Wilkinson]
If we do meet again, why, we will smile indeed;
If not, it's true this parting was well made.

When Shakespeare is in his historically obscure mood he is easy to parody, and Beyond the Fringe caught beautifully the confusion that arises when you don't know whether he's talking about places or chaps:
Get thee to Gloucester, Essex. Do thee to Wessex, Exeter.
Fair Albany to Somerset must eke his route.
And Scroop, do you to Westmorland, where shall bold York
Enrouted now for Lancaster, with forces of our uncle Rutland
Enjoin his standard with sweet Norfolk's host....

and so on, and on.

Then there are his totally unfunny comic plebeians:
Is't all botched up, then, Master Puke?
Aye, and marry is, good Master Snot.

Rowan Atkinson (long before he developed his silly Mr Bean act) demonstrated a line from the same parody. He comes on stage in tights, codpiece and a huge Tudor hat, run through with a sword; the point sticks out behind and the handle end pokes out of his midriff and swings gently up and down. Striding to the footlights, he throws out one arm and declaims:
Now is th'unfriendly steel
'Twixt gut and bladder interpos'd...