The playwright Alan Bennett, in a rare interview some years ago, revealed that he carries a small notebook in which he writes down remarks that people make which he might be able to use, like:
"I see the President of Romania's mother is dead - there's always trouble for somebody."
A headline: "Rumple-suited pragmatist is Quebec's new leader."
On a shop front: "It's Floggo time at Trouserama"
"They came to fit a new coat-hook in the toilet last week - they were four days doing it - I'm ashamed to be British sometimes."
And one gloriously dotty quote which he is surely saving for the title of his autobiography: "That fool of a tortoise is out again." mis2
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