Friday 13 May 2005

Mr Toad

"Unlike most toads, wealth toad has three limbs and a pair of red fiery eyes and is commonly seen offering an ancient Chinese coin in its mouth, sitting on a pile of gold. As a wealth enhancement, one may place a wealth toad at the main door or wealth sector to increase business flow and personal luck.”

Yes, indeed, quite unlike your typical toad.
I don't think my house has much in the way of wealth sectors, but I’m thinking of getting an eight-foot wealth toad for the main door. It might not do much for my business flow or personal luck but it would sure as hell frighten away Jehovah’s witnesses and, come October, trick-or-treaters.

I wonder why those who peddle ancient Chinese drivel, and the idiots who pay money to learn how to align their wardrobes so as to maximise the flow of qi through their socks, pronounce it fung shway but don't spell it like that. In China it's regarded as a peasant superstition but is hugely popular in Taiwan, Hong Kong and of course in California.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you figure out how to create a working 'wealth center', please post the instructions. I'll gladly light a candle to the Toad-god or worship your effigy daily!

Great White North Boy

Tony said...

Yes, indeed, Orso. What is really frightening is that world leaders consult astrologers, our Prime Minister supports (with our money) academies that want to teach "creationism" rubbish, and his wife wears crystals and believes that, oh, whatever it is such idiots believe.

Anonymous said...

I really want to congratulate you guys... You each must have lead such an incredible and experience-filled life that you are able to dismiss Thousand year old wisdom agreed upon by entire cultures.

I only hope to someday attain the level of superiority that I can consider myself above so many people!

I imagine your lives must be perfect.. filled with joy and prosperity! I envy you.

Tony said...

Why, thank you, Anonymous, you're quite right. But there's no need to be envious, my dear fellow: keep trying and perhaps in time you also will achieve Oneness with the Infinite.
Actually, although I can't speak for the others, my life is not quite perfect at the moment; I've got a small rash on my ankle, but I've hung a bag of wolf droppings round my neck and no doubt this will clear it up soon.