Friday, 13 May 2005

Mr Toad

"Unlike most toads, wealth toad has three limbs and a pair of red fiery eyes and is commonly seen offering an ancient Chinese coin in its mouth, sitting on a pile of gold. As a wealth enhancement, one may place a wealth toad at the main door or wealth sector to increase business flow and personal luck.”

Yes, indeed, quite unlike your typical toad.
I don't think my house has much in the way of wealth sectors, but I’m thinking of getting an eight-foot wealth toad for the main door. It might not do much for my business flow or personal luck but it would sure as hell frighten away Jehovah’s witnesses and, come October, trick-or-treaters.

I wonder why those who peddle ancient Chinese drivel, and the idiots who pay money to learn how to align their wardrobes so as to maximise the flow of qi through their socks, pronounce it fung shway but don't spell it like that. In China it's regarded as a peasant superstition but is hugely popular in Taiwan, Hong Kong and of course in California.


Anonymous said...

If you figure out how to create a working 'wealth center', please post the instructions. I'll gladly light a candle to the Toad-god or worship your effigy daily!

Great White North Boy

bonhead said...

It seems to me that people want to believe in hookey pook, Tony. I had a female customer once who was admiring a Mexican opal that I had for sale and she asked me, "What does it do?" I told her that it doesn't "Do" anything, it just looks pretty when you wear it. "Yes, but what is it good for?" Now, I know all the drivel about the metaphysical qualities attributed to various gemstones--that's what she was going for--and I could have told her that opals help you to focus the universal energy and help you to emote more deeply and can bring you good luck or bad luck, etc., But I wouldn't bite, and she actually said, "Well, if you won't tell me I'll just buy one from someone else!" and left. I also had new-age friends in Santa Fe, New Mexico, whom I went to visit one day, and they had this big rock crystal sitting on their porch. I asked what it was and they actually told me that they had borrowed it for awhile to bring the good vibes to their home. What does one do with that? On second thought, Tony, Where can I get myself one of those "Wealth Toads"? Hey! Just in case man.

Tony said...

Yes, indeed, Orso. What is really frightening is that world leaders consult astrologers, our Prime Minister supports (with our money) academies that want to teach "creationism" rubbish, and his wife wears crystals and believes that, oh, whatever it is such idiots believe.

Anonymous said...

I really want to congratulate you guys... You each must have lead such an incredible and experience-filled life that you are able to dismiss Thousand year old wisdom agreed upon by entire cultures.

I only hope to someday attain the level of superiority that I can consider myself above so many people!

I imagine your lives must be perfect.. filled with joy and prosperity! I envy you.

Tony said...

Why, thank you, Anonymous, you're quite right. But there's no need to be envious, my dear fellow: keep trying and perhaps in time you also will achieve Oneness with the Infinite.
Actually, although I can't speak for the others, my life is not quite perfect at the moment; I've got a small rash on my ankle, but I've hung a bag of wolf droppings round my neck and no doubt this will clear it up soon.