Towards the end of last year there was a letter published in Private Eye with the writer's name adding a final note. This has evoked a flood of letters of the same kind; they now appear in every issue in a section entitled Pseudo Names. Here is a selection:
We feel there should be a Pseudo Names song—perhaps to the tune of one of those 1960s novelty numbers.
DEAN E. WEANEY
E. LO POLKER
DOT B. KEANEY
Please do not stop the silly names correspondence. Man, it rocks!
Would you consider reviving the full column in time for Easter?
Only one Pseudo Name in the current Eye; the end of this juvenile rubbish is in sight—heaven be praised!
HAL A. LOOYER
Please don't leave the Pseudo Names feature without a home this Christmas.
IAN A. MANGER
Will there be a special Christmas edition of Pseudo Names? We certainly hope so.
Pseudo Names will not be over until the fat lady has sung the last carol.
I was delighted to see Pseudo Names published in your Christmas edition. For me it was the icing on the tree.
Pseudo Names, along with Malapropisms and Spoonerisms, should be consigned to the garbage can of history.
We were wondering if earlier correspondents could ever have imagined that their letters would result in such a long-running and popular feature.
Being German, your English humour I find hard to understand. I hope that there are no hidden meanings that would trigger litigation.
Here in Ulm, I am one of the few people to understand your English way of thinking.
COUNT von SELF-LUKKI
Though I love it to bits and look forward to its appearance, I'm not at all sure what the highly cultured Chinese would make of your Pseudo Names section.
Do you think it is due to state censorship that we haven't received Private Eye for two months here in Beijing?
Y.R. WEE-WEI TING
We heartily approve of Pseudo Names going international.
It has been a very cold winter here. I should have stayed at home.
Of course, it is universally recognised that German Pseudo Names are the best.
Re the claim that German Pseudo Names are the best, is it not just typical of the Boche to claim superiority?
DELLA PAT RHEA
We do hope that you will not allow correspondents using false names to slip in subliminal political messages, thus undermining your tradition of political independence.
Some say that we need a leader who combines the best qualities of Gordon Brown and Margaret Thatcher.