Time for a clear statement

Home Secretary Charles Clarke is rapidly losing the confidence of the people of this country by his continued refusal to come clean about his plans. We have a right to know where he stands and he must give an honest answer without any further delay to the question that concerns us all: Does he intend to grow a proper beard or not?

Many commentators have pointed out that his stubble, if that is the right word for something so tentative, is very similar that sported by Noam Chomsky, though the latter’s is even less luxuriant, and confined to the bridge of his nose. Perhaps this is Clarke’s way of telling us that he is really an intellectual manqué and not a jug-eared bruiser. If that is the case he should never have been given a bruiser's task of running a government department, and we shouldn’t complain that he’s made a pig’s ear of it.

P.S. Just heard that he's been sacked, so we don't care now whether he shaves or grows it.