Wedding of the week

What a trial it must have been for the media sycophants, cooped up in a small room watching the TV and trying to outdo each other with banal or asinine comments! Here is a selection:
“It's a unique love story…”
“They’ve been to hell and back…”
“It’s the first time he’s been married in a civil ceremony, of course…”
“People call them the Sexy Shands, you know…”
“Fergie’s not been invited, I’m afraid…”
“Here’s Princess Anne, not terribly happy, had to re-arrange the Gatcombe Horse Trials…”
“Pretty mean-spirited of the Queen not to be here…”
“Don’t think there’s been any booing yet…”
“We’ve all waited 34 years for this…”
“It’s really democratic, isn’t it?”
“Thank God nothing was thrown…”
“He’s had such a rotten life…”
“Just getting married – that’s what they wanted, I think…”