Thursday, 10 November 2011

The Style Invitational

Under this title The Washington Post has offered, every week since 1993, a wordplay contest, "an irreverent mix of highbrow and lowbrow—haughty and potty—in genres ranging from neologisms to cartoon captions to elaborate song parodies".

In week 610 (June 2005), readers were asked to "mash" two movies, TV shows, etc., into a single work of art and describe it. There were over 4,000 entries; below, from The Post's archives, is a selection of the winners and runners-up:  

The Wizinator: A steroid-fueled cyborg pursues Dorothy and her companions as they attempt to reach the Emerald City in time to take their court-mandated drug tests. But along the Yellow Brick Road there were some poppies ...

Please Don’t Eat Miss Daisy: Hannibal Lecter lands a job driving for a prim southern spinster.

Pollyanna Karenina: "Oh my, isn’t that the most beautiful train?”

Terminators of Endearment: At last, the perfect “compromise” date movie.

Valley Girl With a Pearl Earring: There’s this girl, Julie? She gets to be a model for, like, a famous photograph or something.

It’s a Wonderful Life Is Beautiful: A man sees how depressing a Nazi concentration camp would have been without him.

My Left Footloose: A dancer with leprosy sees the imminent end of his career.

The French Lieutenant’s a Man and a Woman: Confused sexual identity threatens morale in Napoleon’s army.

The Americanization of Amelie: The cute, quirky French girl finds herself getting a big butt.

Soylent Green Acres: Two rich urban retirees find out the real meaning of being “put out to pasture.”

The Man With the Golden Gunga Din: James Bond finally meets a better man than he.

The Lion in Winterminator 2:
Eleanor of Aquitaine can’t be bargained with. She can’t be reasoned with. She doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop. Until you are dead.

2001 Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: A computer attempts to get out of work by acting crazy, but things get out of hand and he ends up with a circuit-otomy.

Love Toy Story: Woody, an old favorite, feels threatened by the arrival of the new battery-powered Buzz Lightyear.

Das Booty Call: When the German sub fleet puts in to port, they’re ready for some action!

A Bullet Is Waiting for Godot: Let’s just say Vladimir and Estragon have had it up to here.

Man on Fire Down Below: An educational film about STDs and their symptoms. 

Inherit the Wind in the Willows: Did Mole descend from Rat? Or was it the other way around? Let a jury decide!

Gilligan’s Island of Dr. Moreau: A mad scientist’s plans to perform experimental lobotomies on seven castaways are spoiled when he realizes that someone has already beaten him to it.

DracuLa Recherche du Temps Perdu: Memories of his past life come flooding back when a vampire bites into Madeleine.

Independence Day After Tomorrow: Aliens stupidly attack Earth right after global warming has rendered the planet uninhabitable.

Bob & Carol & Ted (Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore): After the divorce, Ted settles into a ménage à trois.

You Only Live Twice, Pussycat: The other cats gang up on Felix and say nasty things to him.

Tequila Sunrise at Campobello: Suddenly Eleanor starts looking pretty good.

The Thin Red Blue Long Grey Line: A bus company offers an extended tour of the American political landscape.

My Fair Lady Sings the Blues: “Cocaine, I’m sayin’, stays mainly in the vein.” 

Die Another Day After Tomorrow: The world ends not with a stir, but with a shake.

[Every Friday there is a new contest; HERE, for anyone who wants to enter, are the Rules.]


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