Voices over

A dozen tactful phrases used to intimidate voice-over artistes:

Mmm, very good. Can you do it like Michael Palin?

Well, we did want Felicity Kendal, but she was too expensive.

That was great. Do you have any other voices?

Can we lose the Pakistani accent? Oh you’re Welsh. I am sorry.

Didn’t you used to be an actor?

Can you make it sound more real?

Over by a second, I’m afraid, and it’s rather rushed, so could you go quicker but sound slower?

Do you think you could breathe a bit less?

We’ve still got point three of a second to play with, actually. You can spread it over the whole read if you like.

Do you always sound like that?. Oh, I see. I thought you had a cold.

We thought it might be fun if you all just absorbed the concept and then improvised.

It’s quite simple, just try to imagine you’re a beefburger.